How To Have A Lasting Relationship: Foster Honest, Trusting, Reliable Friendship
As human beings, one of our most primary needs after those of survival is the need to belong. Once our survival is taken care of, we aspire for warmth, affection, approval, and acceptance. These needs are met through our relationships. We not only fulfill all these needs through our relationships but also form and shape our own identity as we relate to others in various forms. This relationship can be that within a family, or that of a teacher, a friend, or any other name that we may like to give to it.
In our psychotherapy practice, as we work with people going through a whole range of difficulties, we find that invariably they are all connected with their relationships or the lack of them. It is amazing to see how people discover their own inner selves as they relate to other people who are significant in their lives. And very often it is with the help of these relationships that people make their ways out of the depths of their suffering.
Relationships nourish us in the most subtle ways. The mere presence of a friend or a family member will bring warmth to our hearts. Whether emotionally, psychologically, physically, or spiritually, relationships help us grow and evolve. Keeping the company of a certain kind of people helps us steer ourselves in a particular direction. In therapy, we use this as a conscious tool. We help the client identify people around him whom he finds inspiring or who could be supportive of a certain aspect in him.
We find that those of our clients who live with families particularly where the families are supportive, have a much better rate of recovery. Family and friends tend to instill in us a deep-seated sense of security knowing that no matter what these people are there for me. Feeling lonely and isolated can be one of the toughest things to deal with. This problem can be completely taken care of if there are just one or two caring relationships in one’s life. One’s ability to cope with various kinds of stressors goes up with just a few good relationships.
Relationships don’t always have to be very deep or intense for them to have a good effect on us. If we just look at some of the women who stay at home we can learn an amazing skill from them – that of casual human interaction – talking to the maid, the vegetable guy, the dhobi, the cleaner and whoever else they may come across. Just this ability to have tiny conversations with various people can go a long way in ensuring that we stay away from various mental illnesses. In these seemingly meaningless interactions, we may find great bonds and immense nurturance.
Friendship is one relationship that seems to form the core of most other relationships. Honest, trusting, and reliable friendships can be the most fulfilling relationships in one’s life. Friendships make one more inclusive and inspire one to give. So let’s value the relationships that we have in our lives.
