The Science Behind Changing Oneself – Making Change Simple, Easy And Beautiful
Whatever said and done, one of the most difficult tasks every human being will always face is the quest to change oneself. Changing oneself can be so complex that after doing a lot of stuff, trying lot of techniques and tools you may find yourself back to square one and on top of it, more puzzled and more confused.
My intention to write this article is not to confuse you even further and add to much of confusion you may already be going through. All the work I do is with an intention to simplify things and make it practical and easily doable. What is easy, can be done quickly. Complex ideas often lead to delayed or no actions.
When we talk about any change, there are fundamentally 6 steps involved in it. If done sincerely and consistently, you will find yourself in a much better state and place. But before we talk about these steps, lets understand the concepts of energy and vibrations which is a very important part of the change process.
Today a lot of scientific research is highlighting that we are not just made up of matters but beings of energy vibrating in this intelligent Universe. This is what is the core of quantum physics. It simply states that all that we see and experience as a reality is nothing but energy vibrating at a particular frequency.
Then this simply means you, your physical body, thoughts, emotions, beliefs, circumstances are nothing but energy vibrating in a particular frequency. So often in our day to day communication, we use phrases like “There is a lot of negative energy in me or my life”, or “I don’t like people with low vibrations”, “Our vibes or frequency don’t match”, or “I need to shift into higher vibrations”. Though unconsciously, we understand and use these terminologies but consciously we are not aware of it. And hence we lose the power to change ourselves.
Molecular Biologist Bruce Lipton talks about the science behind good vibrations. In one of the articles he says, “Simple Point. I have two guitars that are tuned the same. If I pluck the A string on guitar #1, the A note on guitar #2 vibrates. Why ? It’s the same vibration. Harmonic resonance. Constructive interference. I pluck the string on this guitar, but I activate the string on that guitar…Amazing”
If you think deeply, you will find this pattern occurring in your life too. Whenever you start your day on a negative note, you find, the day going in a negative spiral, more negative experiences coming your way. On the other hand, if you start your day on a positive note, you will find yourself having more positive experiences. These happens so subtly, that we hardly take time to reflect on it.
In the article, Dr Bruce further goes to say, “Our thoughts are not contained inside our head. When we have a negative thought, its not just a negative thought bouncing around in our head. It’s a broadcast. In the world of quantum physics, its an impulse that will return a similar response (The string of my guitar activates the A string in yours, right?). What’s the relevance? There could be ten people out there – nine in a positive state of mind, one in a negative. If we send out a negative broadcast, who is going to pick it up? Not the nine-positive people – they aren’t tuned to that frequency. Who is going to pick it up is the negative person. What happens if we activate a negative person with our negative broadcast? We bring them into our life”
Now with this understanding, lets step in learning the six steps involving any change to take place easily. As we go through these steps, what fundamentally we are shifting is an energy field which temporarily we are vibrating in.
Step 1. Get into an empowering state
This is the most important step of all. What is a state? Its simply the sum total of how are you physically, emotionally and mentally in any given moment of time. In simple terms what is the kind of energy you are vibrating at? No change can happen, if you start from the ‘low energy’ state. Changes which starts from the low energy state, dies of very quickly. How many times being sad and feeling guilty, you have tried to change something? What has been the result? You failed. The key is to start from a positive or high energy state. This starts the process of tuning you to the possibilities and solutions which exist outside in the world. Starting from a high energy state is simply being physically more active, and having positive thoughts and sustained positive emotions.
How do you do this?
The easiest way to do this is to do something you love or which makes you happy. It might be dancing for 5-10 minutes or listening to your favorite music or reading the book which inspires you or working out for 20-30 minutes. You can choose any activity. Once you are feeling more hopeful, powerful and energetic, then it is the time to start the process.
Step 2. Know clearly your current situation
This step is important because if you don’t see things accurately, you will not be able to take actions which are correct. Most often we end up making an incorrect perception, which ends up resulting in wrong actions. People who end up taking their life, end up perceiving that there is no hope left and ending their life is the only way out. How untrue this is, but still prevalent all over the world.
Hence, the work in this step is to see things as they are. No exaggeration or being superficially positive. Make a correct assessment of what situation you are in. To do this step, you have to be brutally honest with yourself. If things are bad, how bad they are? If you have been pain, what level of pain? You need to be very accurate in seeing your current situation.
How do you do this?
You can ask these questions to get clarity.
a) What is current situation?
b) Is it a permanent or temporary phase?
c) What mistakes of mine in past has led to this state?
d) What I have to learn from it?
e) What is the worst which can happen?
f) In the worst-case scenario, will I be alive or dead?
g) Am I feeling enough pain to change now or do I need to let the pain become more intense?
Step 3. Get clear about your desired outcome or situation
Once you have done the step 2, the step 3 requires you to develop hope and optimism. As per Positive Psychology, being optimistic and hopeful is a very important skill which can help us lead a happy and joyful life. Most people know it but very few hardly practice it. This step urges you to practice it.
The application of hope and optimism in life is to see or create a better future than what is now. Most people end up believing that things will never change in their life. This is very foolish idea but widely accepted. If one uses a bit of common sense, it’s clearly evident that life is a process and a journey, and change is a permanent activity in this.
How do you do this?
You must get clear on what outcome exactly you are willing to have now. It short, you must create a compelling vision or goal for yourself. Following question would help in this process.
a) What I truly desire to have?
b) What is the best life situation looks like for me?
c) If everything is possible, which one possibility I want to make happen?
d) How my life shall change once I have achieved my outcome?
e) What are the two words I can use to describe my desired outcome?
f) What kind of picture I can imagine which can be a visual representation of my outcome?
Step 4. Change your core emotions and thoughts
This is where the real task of any change is. Until we don’t shift our existing thoughts and emotions, we will end up going back to same ways of doing things.
Building a new thought and emotional pattern is very important. Its much easier than what people believe. But because the thoughts and emotions are so integral and close to us, that we most often get lost in the trap. We lose the awareness and end up becoming a victim of our thoughts and emotions. All lasting changes are the result of changed thoughts and emotions.
How do you do this?
You can follow the simple tool called as AIR to work on this area.
AIR stands for Awareness, Instant action, Regular practice. These are the three things require for you to shift your thoughts and emotions. The first requires you to build awareness of what are the limiting, negative thoughts and emotions you are experiencing and when. If you start tracking it, you will find, there are only limited set of negative thoughts and emotions you feel and there is a particular time too in a day. Start journaling whenever you catch yourself thinking a negative thought or experiencing a negative emotion. This is an ongoing process and you must do this activity for 30-60 days.
The second step requires you to take instant action. Instant action means the moment you find yourself thinking or feeling the same old thoughts and emotions, instantly get up and do something to shift your mind and body. It can be as simple as, start chanting an affirmation or take 10 deep breaths or just jump for 10 times and create, choose thoughts which you think are the empowering ones. Choosing your thoughts is the key.
The third step stands for regular practice, you need to repeat the above process for a period of 30-60-90 days to build a new pathway in the brain.
Step 5. Create a daily, tiny action ritual
No change can sustain until it reflects in your daily schedule. Hence you need to make change a part of your daily life. Consistent daily actions are the building blocks of any dream or goal you may have. Sometimes this looks so easy that people end up not doing it. A mountain can only be moved by throwing one stone at a time. There is a saying that “Practice makes a man perfect”. I feel it should be, “Right practice done consistently makes a man perfect”.
How do you do this?
Think of an insanely small activity which you will do daily for the change to sustain. It can be as simple as taking 20 steps every day if you are working on your health, or start with saving 10 rs a day if finance is your concern or 2 minutes of meditation practice if you are working to develop more peace and calmness. Starting small helps you to come in action mode and build the habit. Once the habit is built, you can slowly and gradually start intensifying the activity. A small, tiny actions need to become a part of your daily schedule for the change to sustain.
Step 6. Measure it
The last and very important step is to measure your progress. What is not measured, doesn’t last. Any change to be permanent, we need to measure it. Measuring the process makes us accountable and gives us feedback to do any course correction on the way. Most people avoid doing this, hence change becomes difficult for them. Making a simple effort of measuring your progress and effort, goes a long way in helping you sustain change.
How do you do this?
Create a timeline. Every week take out 5 minutes and track yourself in two parameters.
1. Consistency of daily practice
2. Results are seen (no matter how small)
These two are the key to measure yourself and consistently being on the path of transformation.
So, these are the simple 6 steps for you to practice. Once you start the process, you would find it much easier and doable. The glorious future which you dream of is hiding in these 6 steps. Commit yourself to start the process and slowly and subtly make things change in your life.
Real happiness comes from progress. Its when you are doing things, which might be painful in the moment but deep down you know, all these efforts are leading you to your dream future. This is what true happiness is.
I will be happy to hear from you on your story of change and transformation.
