5 Steps To Take Care Of Your Mental Health To Build Confidence
When I was in school, I never spoke up in class because I was shy and under-confident. When I started working in the corporate world, the same low confidence plagued me. So much so, I wouldn’t dare share my ideas in team meetings.
I just wanted to hide!
Like a sword dangling over my shoulder, this feeling of constant ‘imposter syndrome; and self-doubt made me feel low, depressed, ashamed, unworthy and anxious. I spent days crying, and:
- focusing on my negatives
- ignoring all my achievements
- constantly blaming and criticising myself
- and thinking other people are better than me
Clear signs that my mental health was suffering
Fast-forward to today, I have conducted dozens of sessions, and given motivational talks in front of large crowds consisting of thousands of people, in-person and virtually, radiating if nothing, but immense confidence. So how did I suddenly get here?
Well, it wasn’t sudden. I always knew I was holding myself back from achieving my full potential. So, over the course of 10 years, I consciously took tiny steps to build a strong confidence muscle.
Here’s what I did
I studied hugely successful people and realised that all of them had one trait in common: high self-confidence. I observed that such individuals have a natural self-belief that other people like them, that they can perform well at their work, and that they can overcome whatever life throws at them. Their general disposition is happier than people with lower self-confidence.
Upon learning this, I decided to change my mindset by taking these 5 steps that you can too
Focusing on the positives: We all have that voice inside our heads telling us that we’re not good enough. I began challenging that negative self-talk by making a list of all my achievements, small or big, from different aspects of my life in which I was thriving. For example, helping a friend, or cooking a meal from scratch for my grandpa. By doing this regularly, I was able to filter the negative and focus on uplifting thoughts instead.
Doing activities I love doing: I realised that I was not able to contribute to team meetings probably because I was not fully passionate about the work that I was doing. But when it came to things I truly enjoyed, such as mentoring young professionals, my eyes would light up and I couldn’t wait to share my knowledge and learnings with others. As Steve Jobs puts it, “the only way to do great work is by doing what you love.” If you like photography, click some photos. If you like to paint, go create your next masterpiece. If you like writing, start writing. It doesn’t have to be only one thing. Give your soul all it craves. Stop making excuses. Do more of what lights you up and see your life change.
Not caring about other people’s opinions: I feared what others thought of me because I didn’t love myself enough. Initially, I was afraid of being different, but gradually I discovered that my story was unique because there was only one me and my uniqueness, much like everyone else’s was indeed a gift to the world. Learn to love and accept who you are and appreciate and celebrate your uniqueness. You are the perfect version of yourself, but yes you can always become better by focusing on your own journey and not comparing it to others.
Surrounding myself with people who make me happy: “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with." Constantly being surrounded by negativity can bring us down. I took active steps to remove the people who didn’t push me forward and spent more time with bright, happy, successful people who became my mentors, peers and friends. Life is more than just our careers or work I assume you want to add something.
Being kind to myself: Developing a strong relationship with yourself is vital to mental well-being. Initially, I took my mistakes, failures and setbacks to heart. It is only when I started to set boundaries, separating myself from my tasks and goals, I realised who I am and what my values are. And that is when my journey of self-love began.
Following these steps and prioritising yourself are great ways of improving your mental well-being. Slowly, as your self-esteem grows, your levels of confidence will too.
Don’t shy away from doing the inner work. If I can do it, you can too. It may seem impossible, but as I say, tiny steps in the right direction can lead to something magical.
