It happened once:I
Buddha was not yet enlightened, was coming closer, and closer and closer. May be ninety nine percent of his being was almost light; only one percent remained dark. He was just on the verge of enlightenment. It was just a few days before his became enlightened that this incident happened.
They were moving - he had five disciples with him. A fly came and sat on his forehead. Just out of unconscious habit, he waved his hand, the fly went away, but he stopped himself in the middle of the road with the five disciples watching what happened. Now, there was a fly, but he took his hands again, very consciously, slowly, waved at the fly - which was not there!
The disciples were puzzled, they said, " What are you doing? the fly is gone! when you first waved your hand, the fly went away. What are you doing now?"
Buddha said, " I did it unconsciously. It is automatic. It was robot like. Now I am doing as I should have done. The fly is not there - that is not the point - but now I am doing as I should have done. Consciously I moved my hand slowly, with full awareness, attentiveness. My mind is no where else. My total mind is focus on this simple act - the hand is moving, and then I wave, with great compassion for the fly.
"The first time I was walking. I was looking around, and the fly came. and the robot part of my body worked, but I was not in it."
that is what happens when you have learnt something. IF you start learning to drive, in the beginning you have to be very alert - alert about many things: the wheel, and the accelerator, and the brake and the clutch, and the people on the road you have to be conscious for all these things. Slowly slowly, once you have learnt to drive, you need not think of anything at all. Everything has become automatised. Now you can sing a song, smoke a cigarette, listen to the radio, talk to the friend - you can do anything! now, that part, the driving part, needs no attention, you attention is free.
This is a necessity of life, otherwise you may not be able to do many things. So whatsoever you have learnt is always transferred to the robot. Than the robot does it and you are free to learn something else. This is perfectly OK in ordinary life, But slowly slowly, the robot becomes bigger and bigger. And your tiny unconsciousness remains tiny.
The work that one has to do upon self consists in taking back from the robot, de-automatising processes. And you will be surprised: if you de-automatise any process great awareness is released.
Just walk consciously for half an hour and you will be surprised how quiet, how peaceful and serene you look and you feel. Just sitting in your chair watch your ingoing, outgoing breath, silently - the breath goes in and you know, you watch, it is going in. Each step of the breath: it has touched your nostrils, the inner side of the nose, it is moving, it has touched your throat, it has moved, it has gone deep into your lungs: you can feel the belly coming up. And then you feel for a moment it has stopped. No moment and then the return journey: the belly false back, the air is going out; again you feel the same route. It leaves your nostrils ..... and again a moment's gap and then again new fresh air moves in
If you simply watch such a simple process , you will be surprised: one hours watching of breath will bring you so much silence and so much alertness, as you have never felt in your life. And that makes a difference. That transforms your whole life slowly slowly. then you can change everything: eating, walking, breathing - even making love can become very conscious, alert phenomenon.
And then from everywhere, consciousness goes on pouring in. And slowly slowly, the balance changes: you become more conscious than you are unconscious. then you start learning towards God, farther and farther away you start moving from the animals. When a man is really conscious, all desire disappear just as dew drops disappears when in the morning the sun rises.
Desires have not to be dropped, they have also to be used to grow in consciousness.
