The feeling of "I" is the feeling of man afraid of death. The man who penetrates death, who is not afraid of death, who does not run away from it who begins to live it - his "I" disappears, his ego disappears. And when the ego disappears only life remains. we can put it this way; only the ego dies not the soul. But since we continue to remain egos, a great difficulty is created. Infact, only the ego can die; only the ego has a death - because it is false. It will have to die. But we are holding on to it.
For example, a wave rises in an ocean. If the wave wants to survive as a wave, it cannot; it is bound to die. How can a wave survive as a wave? it will die. Unless, of course, it becomes ice. If it contracts, becomes solid, than it can survive. But still, in that sort of survival the wave is no more and ice remains - ice which is a wave, closed, broken away from the ocean. Remember, as a wave it is not apart from the ocean, it is one with the ocean. As ice, it parts from the ocean, it separates, it becomes solid. In it, the wave has contracted; it has become frozen.
As a wave it was one with the ocean; however, if it becomes a chunk of ice it will survive, of course, but than it will cut off from the ocean. And how long will it survive in that state? What so ever is frozen will undoubtedly melt. A poor wave will melt a little sooner, while a rich wave will take a little longer - what else? the sun rays will take a little longer to melt a big wave, while a smaller wave will melt sooner. It is only a question of time, But melting is bound to happen. the wave will melt and it will make a big hue and cry, because as soon as it melts it will disappear. But if the wave, by falling back into the ocean, were to make itself cease to exist as separate, if it were to come to know that it is intact the ocean, than there would not be any question of the wave's disappearing. Than whether it disappears or remain, it still exists - because it knows that I am not a wave, I am the ocean. When it disappears as a wave, it still exists - in a state of rest. When it rises, it is in a state of activity. And resting is no less enjoyable than being active. Infact, it is even more enjoyable.
There is a state of activity and there is a state of rest. What we call Sansara, the world, is the state of activity, and what we call moksha, liberation, is the state of rest. It is like a restless wave which crashes against the wind and wrestles with it, and than it falls back into the ocean and disappears. It still exists. What ever it was before in the ocean, it is now still the same, but it is at rest. However, if a wave were to assert itself as a wave, it would be filled with ego, and then it would want to break itself away from the ocean.
Once you get the idea that 'I am" than how can you be with the rest of all? If you choose to be with the all, than the "I" is lost. That is why "I" insists, "Break away from the all" and how interesting it is, that breaking away from the whole makes you miserable. And than, once again, the "I" says, "relate with the all" - such is the tortuous way of the "I". First the "I" says, "break yourself away from the all, isolate yourself; you are different form the whole. How can you remain connected? " So the "I" snaps itself away ; than it gets into trouble - because, as soon as the"I" operates from the all, it becomes miserable; its end approaches. As soon as the wave comes to believe it is separate from the ocean, it begins to die, its death comes nearer. Now it will fall into the struggle to protect itself from death.
