An important trait of highly empathic people is that they approach conversation in this creative spirit. They believe that by delving into the worldview of another person and sharing their own with them, they might emerge slightly altered by the experience, and have empathic insights that offer fresh thoughts and perspectives, For this to happen in our own lives, we need to break the pattern of dialogue that dwells on the superficial and break skates over the surface of our important concerns and priorities. There are great benefits of doing so, A study at the University of Arizona revealed that people with high levels of life satisfaction or happiness have twice as many substantive conversations ( e.g. about love, religion, politics) and engage in only one third as much small talk (e.g gossip, talking about the weather) than those with low life satisfaction. The research suggests that conversations, like empathy, is good for us.
How should we go about having more of these creative and substantive conversations? One reason that conversational life can lack depth and excitement is that we easily fall into using formulaic question to open a dialogue - How are you? what was the weather like? What do you do? How was your weekend? Although such questions can be important social lubricants, in themselves they generally fail to spar and engaging and enriching emphatic exchange. We answer fine or OK then more on down the corridor.
The way a conversation begins can be a major determinant of where it goes. So it is worth experimenting with adventurous openings. Instead of greetings a workmate with "How are things?" try taking your conversation in a different direction with something mildly unusual like, 'What have you been thinking about this morning?' or ' What was the most surprising thing that happened to you over the weekend?" You need to come up with to break conventions so your conversations become energising, steering clear of cliches like, If you could be any animal, what would be be?" By the way, if you are bold with your questions, people wont think you are mad - just a little eccentric. And they might even than you for it.
