If you don't know if you are confused, then know well that this is an ego trip. If you are not confused if you know well that this is authentic, if there is no confusion at all then it is authentic. And it is not a question of deceiving someone else. It is a question deceiving or no deceiving oneself. If you are confused, in doubt t is an ego trip, because the moment the authentic search is there, there is no doubt. Faith happens.
Let me put it in some other way. Whenever you phrase such problems, the very confusion exactly shows that you are on the wrong path. Someone comes to me and he says, "Tell me. I don't know whether my mediation is going deep or not."
So I say, "If it is going deep, there is no need to come and ask me. The depth is such an experience, you will know it. And if you cannot know your depth, who is going to know about it? You have come to ask me only because you are not feeling the depth. Now you want someone else to certify you. If I say, Yes, you meditation is going very deep, you will feel very good - this is an ego trip.
When you are ill, you know that you are ill. It may some times happen that illness may be very very hidden. You may not be aware of it. But the reverse never happens: When you are perfectly healthy, you know it. It is never hidden. When you are healthy, you know it. It may be that of your illness you may not be so aware, but of health - if health is there - you are of it, because veery phenomenon of health is a phenomenon of well being. If you cannot feel your health, who is going to feel it ? For your ill health there may be experts to tell you what type of disease you have, there is no expert to tell you about your health. There is no need. But if you ask whether you are healthy or not, you are unhealthy, that much is certain. This very confusion shows it.
So when you are on a spiritual search you can know whether it is a ego trip or an authentic search. And the very confusion shows that this is not an authentic search, this is a sort of ego trip. What is the go trip? You are less concerned with the real phenomenon, you are more concerned with possessing it.
