Think about the best feedback you have ever received. It was not something you necessarily wanted or expected, but it made a difference in your behaviour going forward. The feedback may have shaped your overall performance, or how you deal with a particular situation or even your career. What made the feedback so good?
If you are responsible for giving feedback there are several guide books to walk you through the process, making sure it is within legal and human resources guidelines. Sit down, we have some news: following legal guidelines what makes feedback a performance or person changing experience, Infusing EQ knowhow into your feedback, though, is what does.
Here is how to think about feedback and EQ - giving feedback is a relationship building event that requires all four EQ skills to be effective. Use your self awareness skills to identify your feelings about the feedback. Are you comfortable with the process? Why or Why not? Next, use self management skills to decide what you will do with the information you just learnt about yourself from answering the above questions. For example if you are anxious about giving feedback about phone etiquette because you don't want people to think you are eavesdropping, how exactly are you going to get beyond this anxiety to confidently give feedback? it is upto you, but don't ignore the feedback because of your discomfort.
Next use your social awareness skills to think of the person who is receiving the feedback. Remember, feedback is meant to address the problem, not the person. How does the person need to hear your message so it is clear, direct, constructive, and respectful? Constructive feedback has two parts: Sharing your opinion and offering solutions for change. Let us take Todd: he is very direct sugar coating his need to make phone etiquette improvements will insult him. But if sugar coating hard news is in his improvement plan, consider sharing feedback with and without the sugar so he can hear the difference and learn from it.
Rita, on the other hand, is sensitive. Since this is a relationship building experience, Keep Rita in mind when planning her feedback using softness such as " I think" or "I believe" or " this time" to begin a statement may soften the blow. Instead of " your report is terrible" use " I believe there are part of your report that could use revisions. May I walk through some suggestions?" Here, offering suggestions for improvement is helpful - not prescriptive. At the end ask the person for his or her thoughts, and thank the person for his or her willingness to consider your suggestions.
