Ministry Of Honour Summons Wellbeing
Whenever our dignity and honour is compromised upon, we feel our overall wellbeing shaken. This could bring up uneasy feelings of guilt, shame and embarrassment. These could further hamper our social interactions. To counter that, we invariably resort to justifications that are socially acceptable. Doing this helps us qualify for social approval, that in return restores our wellbeing in some way.
Is the relation between Honour and Wellbeing a simple one?
Perhaps the following nuances the above question further.
Does a child have an experience of honour? (Developmental Psychology)
When is it that we really start considering honour as vital? (Sociology)
Is the frame of honour working at all times, in all situations and with all people in the same manner, or is it differential in nature? (Situationism, Personality Theory)
Is there a financial threshold that a person believes they have to reach to get honour from others? (New Economic Thinking)
Sickness attracts empathy from people. Are there some diseases that attract dishonour?
What is more honourable, “means” or “ends”? (Philosophy, Justice)
Hierarchy, fairness, purity, and sanctity. How has honour evolved when humans are migrating from earlier to modern cultures? (Anthropology, Evolution, Moral Psychology)
As we see from the above, we realize that questions are embedded in question and answers are embedded in answer. Through our last six years of research in applied wisdom and interdisciplinary areas, we believe that nuancing the questions further would go a long and deep way.
So, where does honour conventionally come from?
For years, we have learnt that honour comes from other people. Others give it to us. As we interact with others we also invariably follow underlying rules, norms and expectations. This helps us maintain or modify the sanctity of the relationships. On a daily basis, we keep getting measured on other people’s bars of rules, norms and values in order to receive our share of the honour. This can be such a struggle, in the long run!
This is also one of the reasons cited by thinkers like Tristan Harris (ex-Google Ethicist), that is ruining our daily experiences, as technology amplifies and speeds up the whole status chasing spree. Or in words of Robin Hanson (Economic Professor at George Mason University), we are constantly hyper-signalling to each other in order to gain status/honour.
If we are over-reliant on others for honour or dignity or respect, it is easy to see that it could get extremely debilitating, hence the following...
Are there other sources of Honour?
What if we were to go deeper and identify more sources to receive honour from?
What if we were to go within?
We have a space within ourselves which holds wisdom and knowledge. It can assist us in our quest to feeling honoured, respected and dignified by our own selves as well as others. Tools of mindfulness, conversational intelligence and emotional intelligence offer us practices to achieve this state of feeling honoured from within on a daily basis.
In daily parlance, there are situations when we feel choked and overwhelmed with deadlines and goals. During such times we end up taking actions that could be dishonouring for ourself or another. Steven Pinker, one of the most celebrated thinkers of our time, says that we often find ourselves in one of three kinds of power equations. They are either dominance (one dominating another), communality (feeling a sense of togetherness) or reciprocity (give and take). These power equations are also embedded in social structures that often follow certain hierarchies for the functioning of society.
Our voice, which is one of the most fundamental ways of interacting, takes centre stage here. As we negotiate our life through these power equations we may experience feeling unheard by others and hence feel dishonoured. If we then speak up authentically about it, we may tend to disturb the existing social structure. This can also impact the law and order that exists through these hierarchies. An interesting aspect that we now see emerging is the deliberate reimagining of these social structures and hierarchies.
To understand how each person could have their own space to voice their dissent in a social setting, we dug deeper. In our podcast with Lisa Gill (Founder, Reimaginaire, UK), we spoke about organisations reimagining themselves to accommodate the principles of Holacracy and Sociocracy. Breaking off from outdated hierarchical structures, these concepts hold space for a more dignified and respectful conversation.
We have also seen that somewhere since ancestry, the implementation of division of labour gave rise to division in dignity. It is this division in dignity that tends to create a lot of ill-being, rather than well-being. This also came up vividly when we worked with a 20,000 people company some seven years back. The employees held a huge degree of resentment and disengagement because their jobs were seen as menial and at the bottom of the pyramid.
Reimagining the concept of honour in innovative and creative ways can, in fact, restore the dignity of humans. Dignity that is judged by pay packages needs to have a profound shift for better well-being of the society at large.
In our journey, one of the tools that we have been using for several years for self-reflection is journaling. The simple act of writing down one’s everyday experiences for a few minutes daily can bring about self-acceptance and insights. This practice can be a great step towards honouring our own thoughts, feelings, and actions. It is time to integrate these practices in our current systems for shifting our consciousness, one person at a time.
