Anyone can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree at the right time for the right purpose and in the right way, this is not easy
We can thank Greek Philosopher Aristotle for those words and enduring insight into managing our emotions and relationships. If you can master this one, consider your EQ journey a success. Anger is an emotion that exists for a reason - anger is not an emotion to stifle ignore. If you manage it properly and use it purposefully, you can get results that enhance your relationships. Really.
Think of the football coach who get straight to the point at half time. His stern feedback grabs his players" attention and focusses them for the second half. The team returns refreshed, refocussed, and ready to win; in this case the coach managed his emotions to motivate others to action. Expressing anger in appropriate ways communicates your strong feelings and reminds people of the gravity of a situation. Expressing anger too much or at the wrong times desensitises people to what you are feeling, making it hard for others to take you seriously.
Using a strong emotion like anger to benefit your relationships will take time to master, because hopefully you dont have daily opportunities to practice. There is a lot of behind the scenes preparations for this strategy, starting with becoming aware of your anger.
Use your self awareness skills to think about and define your varying degrees of anger - from what annoys you a little to what sends you off the deep end. Write these down and choose words that are specific and then write examples to explain when you feel this way. Determine when you should show your anger based on the criterion that if it is shared it will actually improve the relationship some how. To make your choices, use your social awareness skills to think about the other people involved and their responses.
Remember, relationship management is about making choices and acting with the goal of creating an honest, deep connection with others, To do this, you need to be honest with others and with yourself, which sometime means using anger with a purpose.
