Teen Mental Health: How Parents Can Help
We read so much about how it is difficult raising teenagers today, across the globe. The attitude, the behavioural issues and all that comes with it, is discussed threadbare. But do we see things from the other side of the coin? Is it really easy being a teenager in today’s times? Amidst societal pressure, in today’s digital era that is full of cyberbullying, trolling and body shaming? Definitely not.
As a mom of tweens, I know what’s in store for me in the coming years. Frankly, infancy would seem a lot easier am sure! But how prepared am I, as a parent, to hear out my to-be teen’s thoughts? Are we ready to listen to them? Before we jump to conclusions and draw parallels about how difficult times were, when we were teens back then, do we pause to give them the benefit? ‘Coz half the troubles our teens have today, didn’t exist back then.
According to a World Health Organization (WHO) report, one in seven 10-19-year-olds experiences a mental disorder, that’s a whopping 13 per cent of the global burden of disease for this age group! This is a global statistic. How are things in India, where mental health is still considered a taboo?
The State of the World’s Children 2021 survey presents startling stats such as 14 per cent of 15 to 24-year-olds in India, or 1 in 7, reported often feeling depressed or having little interest in doing things. And what about the unaccounted numbers where mental health isn’t even diagnosed? According to the Indian Journal of Psychiatry in 2019, even before the pandemic, at least 50 million children in India were affected with mental health issues; 80 – 90 per cent have not sought support. And the last couple of years have not made things easier, to say the least.
With such baffling stats around us, how do we ensure our teen is doing “fine”? Isn’t it about time we pay equal (or more) attention to their mental well-being as much as we do for their physical well-being?
Here are pointers I would want to share with the parenting fraternity, that I have learnt about handling teens better through my discussions with doctors, experts and educators.
Educate Them About Social Media:
Sure, they know the tech aspects better than you. But talk to them about the real face of social media. How not to get too “influenced” by others' content. About not taking things personally. And why they shouldn’t ignore cyberbullying. And how to use the privacy settings right so they can have a safe (and creative) experience while using the platform. The last couple of years we saw so many teens start their own business, launch podcasts or YouTube channels by using social media right. The first step to all of this is digital safety- educate them right.
Exam Stress Is Real. Talk To Them:
A recent NCERT Mental Health Survey conducted showed that about 50 per cent students claimed that it was studies that gave them major anxiety and 31 per cent claimed it was exams and results. Are we addressing this right? Is their stress for a monthly test really worth it? Think about it, parents.
Talk To Them About Developing A Growth Mindset:
As much as they are talented and quick at learning new things, when they hit a roadblock or a failure, the teenage brain coupled with modern day anxiety, causes them to limit themselves and not aspire more. Help them develop a growth mindset by reminding them about what they are capable of, and how with time, effort and support (from you) they can achieve what they dream of. Raising optimistic teens is definitely a necessity in today’s world where gloom and despair run wild.
Don’t Negate Their Feelings. Hear Them Out:
We often say today’s teens don’t open up and talk freely to parents like they did a couple of years ago Could we, inadvertently be the reason for the same? Have we, in the past, shut them out, or negated their feelings when they opened up? Be patient as a parent to a teen, and hear them out. Before passing judgements or negating their feelings or just asking them “to cheer up”, find out what’s really bothering them. Double up as their buddy or friend while guiding them right as a parent.
Don’t Play The Blame Game:
This one is easier said than done. But in an earnest attempt to protect our children from problems, we tend to overcorrect them. This starts much earlier, not just when they are in their teens. We tend to raise them in a cocooned world, where we don’t let them fail, we don’t let them fall and we are there for them all the time. And suddenly when they are on their own as teens, and make mistakes we resort to blame games. Why not work on raising independent, resilient and confident children who are ready to fly on their own, and are ready to fall, but rise again?
As parents of tomorrow’s change makers it is imperative we focus on our teen’s mental well-being and help them cross this phase, where things might seem convoluted and confusing. Our support and unconditional love as parents, is the one constant, we need to guarantee them to fly higher.
