It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do, it doesn’t matter how accomplished you are or how many friends you have on facebook. You, my friend, may be extremely lonely or fighting the onset of loneliness.
AGE GROUP & IMPACT
Children & Loneliness
Through our work, we meet many children. Children who have not been empowered with a voice, but when you win their trust, they too talk about feeling sad because they are alone. Some talk about their parents beating them for their bad behavior and they not having any one to turn to. Others talk about having siblings, but no time to play with them, or having friends but no real relationship of playing. Most children recognize the feeling and it is growing more now since in this age group you begin to see the start of the gaming addiction.
Research shows that several factors contribute to feelings of loneliness. Some occur in the school or home environment, others due to moving into a new location or school, due to loss of an individual or object.
Kindergarten children who are victimized by peers (e.g., picked on, or physically or verbally attacked or taunted) report higher levels of loneliness, distress, and negative attitudes toward school than non-victimized children (Kochenderfer & Ladd, 1996).
Youth & Loneliness
The world’s largest survey on loneliness, the BBC Loneliness Experiment, surveyed 55,000 people aged 16-99. In India, our youth face the largest mental health crisis which shows in our rate of suicide. In a study we conducted, most of the youth interviewed had little to no skills of relationship development. The relationship were shallow and 60% felt like they could not be understood by anyone.
Results show
- Higher levels of loneliness in young people, with 40% feeling lonely, against 27% of over 75s
- 83% of people like being on their own
- People who feel lonely have more ‘online only’ Facebook friends
- 41% of people think loneliness can sometimes be a positive experience
- Only a third think loneliness is about being on your own.
One reason young people might feel so deeply lonely, Professor Victor suggests, is that it is a feeling they have never had to deal with before.
Middle age & Loneliness
More than one-third of adults are lonely, with people in their forties suffering the highest levels, according to a study published in the latest Journal of Clinical Nursing. People with strong religious beliefs were less likely to be lonely and people who were unemployed reported higher levels of loneliness than people who were retired.
People in unhappy marriages feel lonelier then single people.
Loneliness attacks families once their children leave the nest.
Geriatric Population & Loneliness
In a study conducted by the Agewell Foundation it was found that one in every two elderly individuals suffered from loneliness. Other reasons cited for loneliness according to the Agewell study were ‘less interaction with family members’, ‘poor health’, and ‘isolation and non-availability of social interaction’.
In India, 47% of this population are undergoing severe depression.
Suggestions by others
In an article by Vogue India, Dr. Genevieve Solomou, a counseling psychologist with a practice in central London, said that individuals should avoid falling into an isolation rut and make commitments which they have to show up for.
A recent piece of research found that people who started conversations on a train not only enjoyed an improved sense of well-being but those whom they talked to, did too. According to Dr. Solomou, these mundane, face-to-face interactions can be hugely beneficial.
She also adds that rather than expecting an instant connection, try to gauge whether or not you connect and trust the individual. After that is established, one can go on and increase intimacy. Intimacy requires risk, but the rewards for our emotional health are huge.
Teachers can think about how the curriculum might be helpful to a child who is feeling lonely. Some children may benefit by being given opportunities to express their feelings of sadness or loneliness through manipulation, drawing, movement, music, or creative activities (Edwards, Gandini, & Forman, 1993).
Summary
Loneliness as we now know does not discriminate between age, gender, race or rank. All human life experiences it across their life-span. We must build not only awareness, but also strategies to combat loneliness.
Start by reaching out to the friends and family members you’ve alienated.
Allow your hands to reach for another instead of reaching for your phone.
Meet people face to face.
Social support is paramount in battling this unseen epidemic.
With a population of 1.3 billion, how can we as a country help ourselves and our fellow Indians? Let’s put some thought to that.
