We have travelled on this path for life after life. That is why we have neither won nor lost. The place where you are standing right now is not a place of victory or of defeat. IF you had really lost, then at least you would have chosen some other path. But no, the defeat is also incomplete and so the hope for victory remains. and you have never really won either.
You fight anger, and for a moment it seems as if you are going to conquer it - but than the very next day you discover that the victory was merely imaginary, anger takes hold of you again. You fight sexual desire: for a moment it seems that you are victorious, but then again you are defeated.
Now really try to understand this process. When do you fight your sexual energy? when it is on the ebb, you feel as if you are winning - and after making love, you sexual energy is naturally at the ebb. It is the same after you have eaten a meal - when your hunger has gone, you feel that you could fast. There is nothing surprising in this, after eating, after satisfying your hunger, one usually fasts. But this won't last much more than eight or ten hours, because hunger will return and you will find it difficult to continue fasting. On a full stomach a man can think of fasting - and even if he does not do it himself, he can at least sing its praises. But it is difficult to do so on an empty stomach.
When you are full of sexual energy, you become full of desire. After you have made love and your sexual energy is spend, your hunger has been satisfied, you repent. And then you say to yourself, " what kind of useless act am I doing? Why I am wasting my life energy? what the hell is all this about ? - dash it is behaving like an animal!" and then you begin to take vows of celibacy.
But such vows are false - because after sometime, when your sexual energy has once again accumulated, you will find yourself breaking those vows. Once again a woman will appear very attractive, once again a man will begin to attract you, once again your mind will be full of sexual desire.
