How Letter-writing Builds Emotional And Mental Wellbeing
We all have heard about the techniques of yoga, meditation, and exercising to keep our mental, physical and emotional wellbeing sound and healthy. However, letter writing is a lost technique that can build and prosper one's emotional health.
Nowadays, letters have lost value as emails have taken their place in terms of convenience, cheap, time-saving, and fast reachable. Emails may sound proper in the digital world, but they may not make an impact as such hand-written letters. Letters can elicit mutual emotional responses such as warmth, anticipation, gratitude, respect, and openness to the message. This raises the bar for relationships and sets the tone and scale for the kind of reaction expected from your audience.
In a conversation with BW Businessworld, Shivani Mehta, Co-founder and Organiser, Daakroom said how letters can be an aid to mental and emotional health, and how the digital generation can adopt letter writing. Excerpts;
How can writing a letter boost mental and emotional wellbeing?
Writing things by hand is a very tangible process. It fires up your creativity and gives you a lot of freedom - of writing in any language, even doodling in the middle. It helps organise thoughts more efficiently - especially when you don’t have the freedom to cut, copy, paste, and delete, you think better before you write, instead of writing and then editing indefinite times afterwards. It’s almost a therapeutic process, to sit down and write for someone. The way your thoughts flow with pen and paper is entirely different from writing on digital platforms, also because of the possibility of being disturbed frequently by notifications.
Letters are almost nowhere these days. Do you think people in the olden eras were more mentally strong and healthy as they did not exchange their words through social sites and cell phones?
There’s no easy way to calculate this, because so much else has also changed, and so quickly, in addition to the evolution of modes of communication. But it’s safe to say that all our attention spans are affected daily, due to the constant influx of communication, messages, emails, and notifications of all sorts.
The overload of information and connectivity sure has some cons. And it’s not easy to hit the right balance between making the best use of technology and not bearing the brunt of it.
Low attention spans and the need for instant gratification were certainly not as common a trait to find in the past as they are today. And I believe social sites and cell phones have had their fair share of contributions to this change. But, again, I’m not against technology. It’s a big boon, the way it connects people. But, at the same time, distancing yourself from it periodically can help maintain balance and keep one mentally fit.
Can an online letter boost wellbeing as most things are online these days?
Well, there are 2 parts to a letter.
1. The part where you write it. That’s a therapeutic process in itself. Writing down your words on paper, preferably keeping your phone aside. Letting your thoughts flow in a certain way, for a specific important person in your life. That surely benefits you. And that’s half the battle won.
2. Then there’s the receiving part. The tangibility of the letter for the recipient, being able to touch and smell it. Almost like having a little bit of the sender himself/herself in your hand. And then being able to safe-keep it for years to come. Stumbling upon it someday in the future can feel like being in a time capsule.
If you were to type a mail, you may get a little bit of both. But you can also write it by hand and then WhatsApp/email it to someone, in which case only the latter gets affected. As I said, half the battle is already won in the first bit, but once it goes on the cloud, there’s a whole lot of clutter there and it can very easily get lost, just like the thousands of photos we’ve been clicking and collecting for years, which are just too many and too easy to be lost. But a letter from a loved one - they’re few and worth keeping safe.
How do you think the digital generation could embrace the art of letter writing?
We must contextualise letter writing to today. For example, it is no longer needed that formal communication is sent by snail mail, or be handwritten even. It is much more effective in digital formats. But when it comes to the expression of emotions and thoughts, even amidst evolved digital media of communication, handwritten letters are still the most powerful and effective.
If this concept can be brought to light for the digital generation, then they may be able to make the right choice of matching the medium to the message, i.e., choosing the letter when it is needed. That’s what letters are - a medium. Just like WhatsApp, email, social media platforms, phone calls, video calls, etc. You consciously choose when you want to communicate via which medium. Just because they are familiar with how visually engaging a video call can be, if the youngsters know how powerful a handwritten letter can be, they will pick it when they want to say something thoughtful, for someone special in their life. A message that is not fleeting, but will last for many years to come.
How can bringing about a small change at the school/ college level and infusing the habit of putting pen to paper help develop sociological and psychological skills in children from a young age?
Any tactile activity in today's exceedingly digital age is great for children, but writing, especially, activates multiple centres of the brain. Letter writing, a more personal and thoughtful extension of writing, leads to not only improvement in skill but many other sociological and psychological aspects. With research from Nipun Bharat and our own experience of running a letter-writing club in schools with children, here are some examples of how writing impacts children:
• Writing is a process of comprehending thoughts and sharing them with others. It strengthens the cognitive and emotional quotient of a child.
• Multilingual writing process, which comes out well during letter writing, helps a child's mother tongue to be valued and celebrated.
• Letter writing in early years promotes learners' capability of creative thinking and helps articulate their feelings in a better way.
• Because you never know when the letter reaches you, and there is no blue tick to tell if it has been read, it helps you let go of the sense of control you feel over things.
As an example, even though medical science has progressed and we feel extremely in control of things and situations most of the time, natural calamities like tsunamis and covid waves come and remind us that nothing is for certain, or under our control. Writing a letter, putting it in the postbox and forgetting about it is a small habit that helps you ‘let go. Even if, sometimes, your letter gets lost and does not reach the recipient, it’s not the worst thing in the world. In a small way, it also reminds us of the Bhagavad Gita’s simple message of doing your duty without thinking about the results.
• Letters also help you think in a more structured way, as you have to think clearly before writing, otherwise your letter will be untidy with scratches! The freedom of being able to delete/edit is not always conducive to work.
Without the options of cutting, copying, and pasting, children learn to structure their thoughts better and are more conscious of what they say and how. In today’s age of instant gratification, this process helps build patience and clarity.
• You also develop empathy with letters, as you spend quality time thinking about a single person and what you would write to make their day special. Even what stamps you could use that they could relate with.
The digital generation has friends but lacks real bonding. Through letter writing, how can one work on building meaningful relationships?
The beauty of letters is that you don’t write them to a lot of people. You only have so much time, and each letter takes time and effort, making you automatically pick and choose! And on these selected special people in your life, letters make you spend precious time.
Letters build memories that last a lifetime. The tangibility of letters, the whole process of receiving them physically in the mail, opening one with your hand, touching it, being able to smell it, all the way up to find it tucked in a book or drawer years later - it’s an experience. And in those terms, a digital message is a product. It’s efficient and it does its job.
But experiences are what you remember and build on. I suggest you choose those few people and write once in a while. If they write back, maintain the trail. It doesn’t even have to be very frequent. One letter in a month or two is also great! And when you start writing, with some time and mind into the activity, you’ll see that the content of your letters is quite different from the one in your messages, even with the same person. That’s the difference.
What relief can letter writing bring to people seeking help for loneliness and anxiety issues?
Letter writing can help release pent-up emotions. If you are anxious, or angry, a letter to yourself or the person you’re angry with can help you express your feelings and unburden yourself. Whether or not you post that letter. Many mental health practitioners recommend journaling because it can help manage symptoms of depression and uplift your mood, especially while going through a certain emotion.
We can maintain a 'Diary of Letters' if not voicing issues directly to avoid stress and confrontations. The diary can have letters that one can write to the person they are upset with or hold a grudge against. They can simply pen their thoughts in that diary and address them to people they usually don’t feel comfortable articulating their feelings. They can additionally write letters to people who’ve passed on but they miss them by penning things they couldn’t say earlier.
One can even write to the unborn child in the diary and share how the journey has been so far and how excited they are to meet the child soon. The letter in a diary activity can be addressed to anyone from past or present, dead or alive, as long as one has a platform to vent out and express in a safe and secure environment.
I would say that resorting to letter writing to feel light or lessen the burden are a few simpler methods of tackling anxiety and loneliness at a very nascent stage. We at Daakroom, however, propagate reaching out to mental health experts for proper guidance and direction to cope with any anxiety issues rather than tackling the situation all by yourself. Also, from our end, we would like to propose that renowned help institutes and mental health forums should have an anonymous or identified letter-writing platform where people can have pen pals they can write to regularly or until they find solace with whatever issue they are dealing with and make peace with it.
5 Letter writing tips for beginners who would like to release some pent-up emotions through this medium?
Often, it’s hard to say some things to some people, and your feelings become easier to capture when you open them up to a letter. All you need to write on is paper, pen and your heart, which are extremely accessible at most times! Here are a few tips to help you put pen to paper:
1. Try keeping your phone away while writing, because that’s one of the lovely things about a letter. You can write it without digital distractions. Even if you want to concentrate while writing an email, a ping on WhatsApp or a call from someone can very easily disturb your flow.
2. The first step is writing your thoughts down, and next comes the delivery. But some letters don’t even need to be delivered to create an impact. Like a letter to yourself (or your future self), to someone you lost, or to someone you’re angry with. Just writing your thoughts down can make a difference. And later, you can safe-keep the letter, or simply throw it.
3. While a slow post and the time it takes adds beauty to a letter, if you are a beginner and unsure about when your letter will reach, consider using faster modes like speed post, registered post, or surprise someone simply by slipping your letter under their door, under their pillow, or in their notebook!
4. Don’t get overwhelmed. Letters don’t necessarily have to be several pages long. Even a tiny sticky note saying you love someone, or that you’ll miss them, can do wonders in making someone’s day.
5. Find your reasons to write! Remember that a digital message will never make the receiver feel as special as a handwritten note can. Collect the addresses of your loved ones in your phone contacts and send them a piece of your heart to treasure forever on birthdays, anniversaries, festivals, promotions and even just like that.
