Invest In Yourself For Better Returns From Life
A fellow doctor who practices general medicine referred a 35-year-old chartered accountant to me recently. He had a background of severe anxiety, with bouts of panic at work as well as at home. The reason was unknown to him, which was adding to his frustration. On discussing the case further, the source of anxiety turned out to be his excessive need to be perfect, and to expect perfectionism from others, as well as succeed at work in the shortest possible time.
This is just one instance of the kind of professionals who walk into the clinic every day. These individuals come from different walks of life, work in a wide range of establishments and are of a varied age group. Often the cause of stress stems from unrealistic expectations from themselves in comparison with others, a lack of a healthy work-life balance, investing immense time and effort into excelling, not being able to remain content with their current achievements and a constant feeling of being inadequate, or a fear of missing out on life.
The stock market keeps fluctuating every day and bosses may have demands that need to be fulfilled at the earliest. There is a deadline or a target to be achieved, the need to manage a team which is being difficult, the commitment to make it to the child’s recital or a football match on time, or to handle a setback effectively and be resilient through it all. So many responsibilities and yet, such little investment into ‘the self’! Life stressors occur in various intensities and often need to be dealt with healthy coping mechanisms. The need to be always strong and not falter, often leads to bottling up of thoughts, feelings and emotions. The suppressed stress results in anxiety that affects overall wellbeing.
Mental health takes a colossal toll over the individual when these stressors are either trivialised or neglected altogether. Just as we focus on physical well-being, we need to give equal attention and importance to emotional well-being. I often hear people telling me that they wouldn’t mind visiting a doctor if there’s an actual wound or visible symptom. However, with mental health concerns, because the discomfort or the emotional upheaval is invisible to the naked eye, the response is ‘minimisation’ and the route taken is to ‘to ignore’. The red flags could be a lack of interest in work or otherwise pleasurable activity, deterioration in performance, forgetfulness, feelings of skipping work, getting exhausted easily, isolating self from others, making excuses, taking up extra work, staying back late, indulging in substance (and at times being on the verge of abusing it as well) and in extreme cases, feeling worthless and dejected.
At times a casual affair or a fling is indulged in to cope with the stress, assuming it to be a distraction from day-to-day frustrations. There is also additional pressure on women at the work front as they may be manning two areas and are expected to run them both seamlessly, especially in our country, where it is common to expect a woman to excel at home as well as at work. The pressure of such expectations often lead to stress and feelings of guilt and may lead to something known as ‘the imposter syndrome’, wherein the individual in a high functioning job feels inadequate all the time despite achievements. The ‘self-inflicted pressure’ of being ‘absolutely perfect’ at every task often results in the individual beating himself or herself up internally. As a result stress increases and self-worth is impacted, leading to a variety of physical ailments and psychological consequences.
Once there is a sense of awareness, acknowledgement and acceptance of the fact that something is amiss (as in the case of the young chartered accountant) the victims can decide to take action, which would invariably help them get better. Seeking professional help when one is unable to manage on one’s own isn’t a sign of weakness. It is actually a sign of strength. Individuals worry tremendously about their ‘image’ being compromised and an opinion being formed of competencies if emotional fragility or vulnerability is sensed. The conflict and dichotomy between perceived image, assumed competencies, the projection of the confident-self and the need for support, help, aid and often results in a burnout. The impact of not responding to one’s inner needs at the cost of external trappings can be severe.
In today’s age, we all aim at doing well for ourselves personally as well as professionally. However the professional life very often takes precedence over the personal at a high cost. This process of one at the cost of the other, ‘the other being the self’, needs to be evaluated. In the midst of this unhealthy process, we fail to realise that the focus needs to be oneself − one’s work, one’s well-being and one’s own bar of evaluation − and not the comparison with and the pace of others. Work is worship, agreed! However, can this ‘worship of work’ be accomplished without the support of a sound mind and body? This is a question that we need to pose to ourselves. Investing in yourself will undoubtedly result in a profitable return, which in turn will raise the graph of your overall quality of life internally − and ensure optimum results externally.
