Positive Reframing Opens The Gateway To Happiness
The untrained mind is habituated to taking the path of least resistance. It easily turns pain into thoughts of suffering. People readily become dismal in the face of problems. Have you ever wondered why that is so?
That is because of the negativity bias of our mind, where adverse events impact our brain more deeply than positive ones. For example, you remember the one critical feedback your boss gave and forget the ten good ones. Your mind keeps revisiting the single mistake you made, while ignoring the many good things you did. Or perhaps, your child comes home with her report card. You ignore her four good grades, while feeling terrible about her one bad grade. Hence, we have trained our mind to selectively harbor negativity or remain fixated on problems.
To counter it, the art of optimism needs to be learnt and made a natural state of mind.
Positive Reframing – Seeing the Silver Lining
If we wish to be happy, we simply have to change the training of the mind to deliberately see goodness and notice the abundant opportunities that exist in the same situation. Positive reframing helps us do just that. It is a potent technique for changing our perspective from the deficiencies to the manifold blessings in life. It helps us see the silver lining in the worst of situations. In essence, it enables us to remain spirited through the vicissitudes of life.
We Can Choose to Look at Events Differently
You can see the same situation in different ways. Imagine a hot and sunny day. One person notices the beautiful sunshine, while the other observes scorching heat. Similarly, one classifies a colleague’s behaviour as arrogance, while the other sees it as confidence. These are various realities in a single situation. Hence, the proverbial saying: ‘Two sides of the same coin.’
A nurse at an army hospital once related to me her experience with two Indian soldiers who had been wounded in anti-terrorist operations in Kashmir. Both had unfortunately lost one leg in a grenade explosion. They had been operated upon and received an artificial limb. With it, they were learning to walk but needed a crutch for support.
The first soldier was full of complaints. He was protesting the unfair hand of God. He was cursing the terrorists, and even blaming his commander for putting him on the frontline. The second soldier was brimming with gratitude. He realized he could have lost his life in the grenade explosion but was still alive to tell the tale. He saw it as God's blessing that he could sit in a wheelchair, feel the flowers much closer to him, and look his little kids in the eyes!
The contrasting perspectives explained the two soldiers’ experience of misery or lack of it. One was seeing himself as a victim, while in the same situation, the other was thrilled to see himself as a lucky survivor.
Misery is the consequence of viewing life through the lens of negativity and discontentment. In contrast, positive reframing is the art of finding the silver lining in any situation. And then focussing upon it.
Count Your Blessings to Reframe Negative into Positive
We have the ability to hold on to a happy frame of mind, even in dreadful circumstances. It is a matter of choosing to see goodness and grace. Rather than feeling miserable by focussing on what you lack’, count your ‘blessings’ and fill your heart with gratitude. Here are some examples:
− If you have to pay huge taxes, be thankful because it means you have a large income.
− If you have to clean up the mess your children create, thank God that He has blessed you with a family.
− If you have many chores to do at home, feel gratitude that you have a roof over your head, while so many in the world are homeless.
− If you have a bitter medicine to take, be thankful for it because it means you will get better.
This kind of reframing is simple yet profoundly effective. When we decide to look at the bright side of adversities, we find that our worries are not as drastic as our mind makes them out to be.
Many more such pearls of wisdom are revealed by best-selling author, Swami Mukundananda, in his latest book, The Art and Science of Happiness.
About the Author -
A yogi, world-renowned spiritual teacher, an authority on mind management, IIT & IIM alumnus, Bhakti saint, H. H. Swami Mukundananda is the founder of JKYog.
